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Thursday, August 26, 2010

When Someone Shows You Who They Are...Believe it!

This is a guest post by a friend of mine, J. Earl Smith. He is a new relationship author, with a book called "You're Worth It".  I am excited to have his article on the site and hope you find it helpful. For more information on him and his new book "You're Worth It", visit You can find him on Twitter: @JSmith2523. Please feel free to tune in Tuesday September 21st at 8pm for his first live interview on the Artist First Radio Network at

 "When someone shows you who they are, believe it!"

My mom told me that expression a very long time ago and it’s always proved true. Whether talking about romantic relationships, business relationships, or friendships…it’s always proven true. So what does the expression actually mean?

This phrase refers to more than just the surface characteristics that make up a person. We’re talking about the types of things that could end a relationship or possibly even prevent a relationship from even starting. Or what about if someone that you’ve been talking to for a week or two starts getting very controlling of where you are or who you’re with. Does that raise a red flag? Should it? Indeed it should, because if they’re controlling like this now, just imagine what life would be like down the road!

What about someone who claims to care about you more than anything, but they can never seem make time for you? You tell them how you feel and try to make them a necessity in your life, but they consistently make you an option in their lives. Is that right? Should you be restricted to the “back burner” so to speak? No! You deserve better than that! You’re worth more than that!

Believing someone when they show you their true colors simply means knowing that you can't force someone to change and that no one will change unless they want to change. People are who they are…and that’s who they’re always going to be. Not to say that you should always be looking for the negative, but if overwhelming negative characteristics are standing staring you right in the face...DON'T IGNORE THEM!

Think about it this way - both getting to know someone new and shoe shopping are supposed to be fun experiences; unfortunately there can be negatives in both realms. When shoe shopping, no matter how hard you try, you may not be able to find your size, or you find your size but when you try them on, they're extremely painful. Meeting someone new is like trying to find that right pair of shoes. Some people are the right size for you, but once you start getting to know them (try them on) they may have some SERIOUS negative qualities that could hurt you emotionally or even physically.

"When someone shows you who they are...BELIEVE IT!"

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