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Thursday, September 8, 2011

Is There Any Truth To the 5 in 15 Rule?

Jewel of wisdom du jour: Nonverbal communication can be some of the most important communication we encounter.

Have you ever heard of the 5 in 15 rule? This is a rule regarding someone’s body language as it relates to you and their attraction or lack of attraction to you. So what’s the rule exactly? The 5 in 15 rule states that if someone you’re having a conversation with touches you 5 times in a 15 minute window…then they’re definitely interested in you. This apparently is a rule that both applies to males and females. Now let’s examine this rule a little deeper.

I personally think that this rule has some merit to it. Why? Think about it. Would you really be touching someone that you weren’t interested in at all? Probably not. And if someone touches you 5 times in a 15 minute window…chances are they’re quite interested. Men like to put their hands on a woman to see her reaction to his entering her personal space. Now we’re not talking about inappropriate, creepy, or overtly sexual touching (which would probably get him slapped); guys are more liable to touch your arm, the small of your back, move a piece of hair from hanging in your face, move in closer to you so he can whisper something in your ear, etc. All of these things are done with a purpose ladies.

As much as experts say that men don’t necessarily think things out, they just react…that’s not true. Men are creatures who like to know what they’re odds are as soon as possible. So men usually have a plan to gauge where you’re feelings toward him are. This could very well happen when first meeting you. And getting the opportunity to read your reactions to his physical contact is a great barometer for a man to see where he stands. Trust me….I’ve done this myself…and a man can usually tell if there’s something there or whether he should walk away.
If a woman tightens up and freezes…men realize….she’s not that into me…I better cut my losses and back off. If a guy is standing talking to a woman at a bar…with his back against the bar and he kind of extends his hand so that it’s behind her back, but his arm doesn’t actually go around her…he’s testing to see whether she 1) notices, 2) leans into it, or 3) creates more space between themselves. If she kind of leans into it, then a guy will take that as an indication that she may be into me.

So remember ladies….when a guy generates the physical contact between the two of you…it’s not coincidence…it’s a planned action. And how you react to it, could be the determining factor to whether or not his interest continues. Don’t take that as a suggestion to just let any guy have his hands all over you, but keep in mind that upwards of 90% of all communication is nonverbal so if you feel an attraction to him and he’s tossing these kinds of signals at you (without crossing the line), you might want to engage him and see where things go. Who knows….he could be your Mr. Right.

1 comment:

  1. Interesting post...I've never heard of the "rule" but will keep it in mind. Merci!