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Thursday, September 22, 2011

Thursday Love: Approachability....Do You Have It?

Ladies….Do you feel that you’re never approached by the right guy or that you seem to attract nothing but losers? At the risk of sounding like a jerk or unsympathetic…it could be you. Not to say that there’s anything wrong with you…but maybe you’re not exactly making yourself approachable.


When you're out with your girlfriends....is it always about being with your girls and that famous female mantra..."we came together...we're leaving together"? There's nothing wrong with having a girls night out, or even being there for your girls if they need your support. But...try not to let that be the theme for EVERY night out.


Suppose you feel that you're attracting nothing but losers. You'd do well to ask yourself or your closest friends for that matter...what vibe am I giving off that these rejects continually feel the need to approach me and not a nice guy? Well, let's look at a few things that could be causing the problem.


1) How do you present yourself? Do you dress in a way that others may perceive or assume that you're (for lack of a better word) easy? I know it's not right to assume that a woman is a certain way because she dresses a certain way. But let's be honest, society may be wrong...but people make snap judgements about people every day because of various superficial things they may see. It's not right....but that is the society we live in. So, you may want to ask your friends to give you an honest critique of how you dress. Because in reality...that could be what's causing the wrong kinds of guys to approach you...thinking that you might be their hookup for the evening.


2) Do you make yourself approachable? Have you ever seen one of those little mirrors that company's will give their employees to help them remember to smile through the phone when talking to a customer? The mirror has a saying on it..."What you see is what they hear". The same is true when you're out....keep in mind that the expression on your face can speak volumes before you even open your mouth. If you have a scowl on your face...that tells a guy that you aren't interested in being approached...and that may not actually be the case. So if you do want to be approached, do like my mom used to tell me and "fix your face". Also, your body language could say a lot as well. If you're into a guy who approaches you while you're sitting down...try crossing your legs and turning toward him. That shows a certain level of interest by turning toward him and centering yourself on him.


3) Be aware of a guy trying to hit on you or if he's attracted to you. This may sound like an easy one or a no-brainer...but make sure you know and can recognize when a good guy is trying to hit on you. Men don't always get things right the first time they try...so if he's fumbling around a bit or seems uncertain of what to say...try taking the reins and steering the conversation. Also, pay attention to his body language as well. His body language can and will tell you a lot about his feelings toward you. If you notice that his upper torso is always leaning in toward you, or he's straightening his tie when approaching you, or is attempting to engage in extended eye contact...he's into you...so pay attention.


Hope these tips were helpful and remember..."You're Worth It".

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