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Thursday, November 10, 2011

Thursday Love: Am I Wasting My Time?

Now more than ever one must be careful of investing too much time into someone who obviously doesn't feel the same as they do. Time is not a luxury, it's not something that can be wasted frivolously on someone who isn't on the same level as you from an emotional or mental standpoint. So here's a short litmus test you can use against your current relationship to see if it's actually heading somewhere.

1. Is there an actual title or commitment to one another?
2. Does he share his feelings with you?
3. Do you spend more time texting each other than actually speaking?
4. Is he still "good friends" with his ex-girlfriend?
5. Do you ever have serious conversations or is it all fun & games?
6. Does he randomly fall off the radar for hours or days at a time?

If you have 'yes' to more of these questions than you answer 'no'...then this relationship probably isn't heading in meaningful direction. That's when you have to take serious stock of your life and decide what needs to be done. Now, let's be clear...not having affirmative answers to any of these questions automatically means that the relationships isn't going anywhere...but the answers to these questions should lead you either positive affirmation of the status of your relationship or give you the answers to the questions you've been wondering about for quite some time.

There are a few questions that matter more than others though such as questions 1, 3, and 6.

If the answer to question 1 is a 'no'...that you don't have a title or established commitment...that doesn't mean it's the end of the world if the relationship is in it's young stages. However, it could be a huge problem if this "relationship" has been going for an extended period of time and there's still no commitment.

If the answer to question 3 is a 'no'...this isn't a definite red flag either. In this technologically enhanced era, text messages throughout the day isn't a problem. Many times people are at work and aren't able to spend time talking on the phone...that's where text messages come in handy. However, if the two of you can go a whole day with actually speaking on the phone...that's a problem.

The answer to question 6 is serious. If you answered a 'no' on this one...then you're good because he keeps in touch with you. However, if you answered 'yes'....which means he randomly disappears on you. That's a problem. I'm just going to be straight forward about this...most men who pull the great escape on a regular basis have another woman on the side...or you are their side girl and the time away from you is back with their steady girl. It sucks but this is a huge red flag that has to be investigated ASAP! No one in a relationship should be disappearing on their significant other without a single word as to what's going on, where they are, or how they're doing. If a guy is bold enough to do that to shouldn't be with that jerk anyway! Don't waste your time with Mr. Wrong....move on!

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