Thursday Love: Foundations of a Strong Relationship

Jewel of wisdom du jour: "THE LINCHPINS OF LOVE... ARE FRIENDSHIP AND TRUST."

If you were to poll any home builder around the world, what do you think would be the most important thing needed to build a strong lasting home…the first thing that would come out of every single one of their mouths would be, A STRONG FOUNDATION.

 
Now with that in mind, take a second and try to answer this question, “what’s one thing that starts a relationship off on the right path or would be considered a strong foundation? Many people feel its chemistry, while other more delusional people feel that looks and raw physical attraction are what build a strong relationship. I laugh at people who say that, because they’re confusing what may have been the first thing to attract them to someone with what builds a strong lasting relationship; and their relationship will end up crumbling like this photo.

So what is it that I'm referring to as an overlooked key to building a strong relationship...…FRIENDSHIP, which leads to TRUST.
 
Friendship is defined as the co-operative and supportive behavior between two people. This involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection for one another, and an exhibition of loyalty or mutually helping behavior. Friends desire the best for one another, they sympathize with one another and are honest and truthful at times when other may not speak the truth.
 
Can you think of anything more important than that?
 
Why does it seem so illogical to people that if a friend is who you share your triumphs, failures, and fears of life with, wouldn’t a solid friendship also be a key to opening the locked door to a successful relationship? Take a second and examine your relationship with your best friend and see if it’s possible to build that kind of connection with the person that you’re interested in.
 
Well, how can such a friendship be developed? Communication is a HUGE factor. When spending time together choose activities that promote communication and encourage conversation. Good healthy conversation is an opening to truly getting to know someone for who they really are. Try very hard to not let physical attraction or chemistry overpower the relationship. While attraction has its appropriate place, this is NOT a good building block on which a relationship can be built.
 
When physical affection plays too large a role in a relationship it can blur the lines of one’s perception and can begin to cause them to misconstrue physical attraction for love. And when looking through "rose-colored" glasses...everything seems perfect. 

A relationship can’t last on attraction or looks alone; it MUST be rooted in something deeper. Once the looks fade with age, a strong friendship will provide you with the foundation needed to make it through the hard times and continue finding happiness together. It’s that bond of friendship and trust that will help you along your way to your ultimate goal which is finding true love.

The Fashionisette's Guide to Summer: Maxi Dresses

ASOS Color block maxi dress with big pockets.

I cannot resist a maxi dress for summer. It's my summer staple! When it's hot, who wants to think about throwing an outfit together. I always reach for an easy-breezy maxi dress and pair it with a chic flat sandal (for when I am running errands on going for  a walk in the city) or a fierce wedge (for cocktails or dinner with friends). I just love feeling comfortable, but not looking like I compromised for it.

Here are some quick maxi dress finds for everyone:

T-Bags jersey maxi dress. Net-a-porter.com. $205

ASOS Aqua Tonal Stripe. $172.39

ASOS Curve Maxi Dress. $25.86

Ella Moss maxi. Piperlime. $177

A Pea in the Pod Maternity Strapless Maxi. $139

 

Breaking News: NYC Legalizes Same Sex Marriages

View of Empire State Building after bill passed.

It's official. The Gay Marriage bill was passed and now New York has made history. Same sex marriage is now legalized in our concrete jungle where dreams are made of. The law will take effect in 30 days, making New York the largest state where gay and lesbian couples will be able to wed and giving the gay-rights movement new momentum.

Read more in the NY Times article: After N.Y. Senate Vote, Governor Cuomo Signs Gay Marriage Bill

Saturday Love: You're Worth It - Unrealistic Expectations

The jewel of wisdom du jour...“Thought Before Action”

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Last week we spoke about learning to let go of past relationships, in order to not have a negative impact on a future relationship. One way in which not letting go of the past can have an impact on the present or future is that your thoughts or hang-ups on someone from your past can cause you to place unrealistic expectations on someone new.

Unrealistic expectations that we may place on others usually begin when we take our own personal ideals, standards, and views on things and project them onto other people, or when we needlessly compare a new love interest with those from our past. Let’s focus on the unnecessary comparisons for now.

Imagine if your new boyfriend/girlfriend continually made references to his ex-girlfriend that he spent 5 years with. Talking about the things they used to do, the fun they had together, etc. How would you feel about that situation? Now imagine that this same partner, upon asking if you wanted to see a particular movie or go to a particular restaurant and you said no, this person that you have feelings for says something along the lines of…"I remember my ex and I used to see movies like that or go to that restaurant." Isn’t that going to put a damper on your new relationship?

Well with that said, it’s important for us to always remember to not needlessly compare our new significant other to someone from our past. We shouldn’t be heard uttering the words, “well my ex used to” or “my ex would’ve never done something like that”. Those words are usually the beginning of the end of a relationship. Why? Because at that point, your new partner feels they’ll never live up to the level of your ex, because you’ve put them on such a high pedestal and apparently…you’re never going to take them off of it. This is like trying to force a square peg into a round hole…it’s just not going to work.

Bottom line…don’t assume that your new boyfriend/girlfriend is into the same things your ex was. Don’t assume that acting a certain way that your ex found acceptable is going to be ok with your new partner. And last but certainly not least, try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. If you they had been in a longstanding relationship, and continually compared you in every way (physically, emotionally, etc.) to their ex, wouldn’t you want to cut ties and move on to someone who’d really appreciate you for who you are; and not to look at you as someone they can try to mold into being just like their ex…who obviously they hold too dear as their ideal partner. Eventually, your new partner will find themselves climbing your expectations ladder and they’ll realize they’ll never be able to climb high enough for you.

Model Walk: Melodie Monrose

Mind Loop: M.I.A. "Paper Planes"

Thursday Love: You're Worth It - The EX Factor

Welcome to “You’re Worth It”, the weekly guide to helping better relationships from the male perspective, and helping all realize their “TRUE WORTH”. Now some may say, that a man’s perspective doesn’t mean much, but in reality…who knows men better than a man?

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The jewel of wisdom du jour…

            “For one to have a successful relationship, one must learn to let go of past relationships.”

That’s definitely easier said than done, but desperately necessary if a successful relationship is what one seeks. Letting go of a past relationship doesn’t mean that you completely forget about someone from your past, but not to dwell on them too long because that could cause someone to miss out on a possibly great opportunity. We have to remember that there are both healthy and unhealthy/destructive ways of remembering past relationships.

The emotional ties to an ex need to be severed. It’s extremely important to remember that…AN EX IS AN EX FOR A REASON!  It’s impossible to hold memories of a past relationship so near and dear to your heart without them negatively impacting your possibilities of making a serious lasting connection with someone new. The longer you’re hung up on someone from your past, the more likely it is that anyone new who might have any interest in you whatsoever…will move on to someone who’s not preoccupied with a past love.

Not getting over a past love can lead to you putting undue expectations upon someone you might be interested in…which we’ll talk about next week.

Remember….You’re Worth It!

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Have a relationship question for me? Want to share your thoughts on today's post? I'd love to hear from you. Please feel free to leave me your comments below!

You're Invited: Christian Louboutin S/S 2011 Sale

You're Invited: Rag & Bone Sample Sale

The Fashionisette's Guide to Summer: Hydration Edition

I thought it might be nice to share with you all some of my summer tips. While I love the high temps, I dislike sweating. I hop from A/C to A/C, and a subway commute can be a sauna. I can't wait until they build temperature controlled stations...I'm sure in the year 2020 we'll have that. Well a NYC girl can dream. In any case, as the temps rise, so does my thirst. So here is how I stay hydrated during summer! By the way, a bottle of Aquafina is always in my bag. H2O will always be my primary go to and I only drink Aquafina because of its reverse osmosis process (in case you were wondering why I am so brand specific).

First up, Starbucks Iced Peppermint Mocha. Yes, this is a holiday drink, but over ice turns it into a summer treat. Chocolate and Peppermint can never be a bad thing...it's my dessert drink of choice. While I don't encourage this, sometimes on my shopping excursions this totally replaces food. Ladies you know how it is, you're focused on the fashion goal at hand that stopping for food is not on the schedule. [P.S. The mocha coconut frappucino is a very close second. I just tried it a week ago and fell in love.]

OMG! So I was at a recent event a few weeks ago and got introduced to Skinny Water. Seriously ever since I have been addicted!! They have 8 different flavors that all come packed with vitamins and most importantly electrolytes (which you need to combat the heat and sweat). It tastes so good and because of that you will definitely drink more. It's healthy, tastes good, and every flavor has a goal for your body. My two favorites so far are Crave Control (Raspberry Pomegranate) and Fit (Blueberry Raspberry). Guess with summer officially around the corner, you can figure out why these two are my faves. You will seriously thank me for the scoop with Skinny Water. If you try it out, let me know! I would love to hear from you about what you think. [P.S. it might just make you switch from Vitamin Water...but you didn't hear it from me.]

Sometimes the heat can just zap me of energy, but I swear by Tahitian Noni's HIRO energy drink!! I am not trying to knock any other energy drink, but in all honesty, there is no other energy drink on the market like HIRO. It's all natural, only 10 calories, no crash and burn, and contains the power of the Tahitian Noni fruit (which helps with your immune system...but that's just the tip of the iceberg). It is packed with vitamin B, taurine (powerful antioxidant), and guarana. Did I also mention it tastes really good? I totally get the boost I need without feeling my heart race or crashing a couple of hours later.

Last, but certainly not least, is Zico Coconut Water. It seems trendy to be drinking it now, but I was drinking it before it was in style. It's one of the best ways to replenish your electrolytes and it contains more potassium than a banana. It's lower in acid than other sports drinks, all natural, and rehydrates quicker than regular water. I've tried a couple of other brands of coconut water, but Zico won out over the others. And now they have a chocolate flavor, which I haven't tried yet, but I don't think I could lose with that one either.

You're Invited: House Rossil and Sobral Trunk Show

House Rossil and Sobral are excited to extend an invitation for Fashionable New Yorkers to come and view the designs, and purchase at their leisure. The sophisticated and contemporary S/S11 House Rossil collection & the S/S11 Sobral Jewelry Collection will be debuted for guests to see.

Perks?

·         20% discount on all dresses and jewelry.

·         Guests will be able to order any out-of-stock House Rossil items at a 30% discount.

·        Enjoy complimentary refreshments and meet the designer and team behind House Rossil!

Happy Shopping!

xo

Video: J.Lo and Marc Anthony Preview Kohl's Collabo

I am very late with this post, but it still needed to be put up because I really haven't heard much from it lately. In case you're not up on it either, J.Lo and hubby Marc Anthony are the first celeb couple to have simultaneously designed collections for one retailer. Who's the lucky retailer? Kohl's. This collaboration was announced last fall, and on May 2nd, 2011 (just a little over a month ago) J.Lo and Marc gave an editorial press preview of the collection in NYC. Sorry I missed that one! 
From what I've been reading, The Jennifer Lopez Collection includes contemporary sportswear, dresses, handbags, jewelry, shoes, and sleepwear. The Jennifer Lopez Home Collection consists of bedding, towels and luggage. Jennifer Lopez describes the line as having an “old Hollywood, movie star” vibe. [Now if only her collection could give me J.Lo hair, and I would be set. I happen to think she gives good hair in all her photos.]
The Marc Anthony Collection consists of sportswear, dress shirts, neckwear, accessories, suit separates, sport coats, and shoes. 

The collections are set to debut the beginning of this Fall 2011. 

Model Walk: Kinee Diouf

Red Carpet: Edie Falco

Photo credit: Getty images

While I managed to miss the 65th Annual Tony Awards, I rarely ever miss a red carpet. Last night, actress Edie Falco looked stunning in this Romona Keveza one-shoulder midnight blue silk chiffon goddess gown! You all know how much of a RK fan I am, so when her designs hit the carpet, I have to blog about it.

You're Invited: A Belle in Brooklyn book signing!

In Love: Together Bags (via @ThuFri)

OMG! So I found this really cool (for lack of cooler words) company that lets me have my Hermès Birkin fix without the heavy price tag. Thursday Friday designed a chic shopper tote that resembles luxury, but gives you all the comfort of an oversized eco-friendly bag. Finally, a tote that can be your everyday bag, minus the waiting list. I can't wait to get one!!


Together Bags. Comes in Red, Blue, and Camel. $45.

SAMPLE SALE: Tory Burch

Tory Burch Spring/Summer 2011 Sample Sale. Savings on Clothing, Footwear & Handbags!

When:

Tue, Jun 14 at 11:00AM - Sat, Jun 18 at 4:00PM

Where:

Clothingline/SSS Industries Inc
261 West 36th Street, NYC

Phone:

(212) 947-8725

Shoe Love Quickie: Jessica Simpson "Vadio"

Apparently I must live under a rock because I never saw these Jessica Simpson "Vadio" sandals before. Well, they definitely were a hot ticket item and now they're back! Guess who won't miss out a second time around? They're just what my feet ordered for summer!

Jessica Simpson "Vadio" sandals. $98.

Model Walk: Donyale Luna