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Thursday, January 5, 2012

Thursday Love: New Year....New Opportunities

Jewel of wisdom du jour: True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

The holidays have past and we've rung in the new year, and with the new year comes new resolutions. In the first week of 2012 I've heard so many people make the same old resolutions that they make every year...lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking, get more focused about getting their degree, get married, etc.

However, this one girl who was ringing me up at a check-out line, caught me by surprise when she told me that her New Year's resolution was to transform her rocky relationship with her boyfriend into the PERFECT relationship and transform him into the PERFECT boyfriend. I was a little caught off guard because I'd never heard anyone say they were going to transform a current relationship into the the perfect relationship. I'd heard people say they were going to find the perfect relationship....never transform an existing one into the perfect one. I kind of chuckled for a second and paid for my items and went about my evening.

But  then it dawned on me...how many other people could possibly be thinking that attaining perfection or aiming for perfection in their relationship is what's really important? After thinking about that I'm going to give you a few reasons why expecting or aiming for perfection isn't a good idea.

1) There's no such thing as PERFECT.
2) Putting your ideal standards on others will ALWAYS result in your own disappointment.
3) Everyone is going to make mistakes at one point or another.

First and foremost we all have to come to the realization that we AREN'T perfect ourselves...therefore we can't expect perfection out of someone else. Once we're able to realize that...we're off to a good start. Next we have to remember that what we view as acceptable or unacceptable in a relationship can't be kept inside, it has to be communicated. If you keep your feelings bottle up as to how you expect your partner to treat you or act respectfully of your relationship when you're not around...you have to tell them that. Lastly, you have to remember everyone...including YOU...are going to make mistakes. PERIOD! It's how we learn from those mistakes TOGETHER...that will keep a relationship growing stronger with each passing day, month, or year.

Try to always keep in mind the reason you're in a relationship in the first place. If you can't remember that...I don't know what to tell you. Put any mistakes made on your part or your partner's in the proper perspective and work on resolving them together. Relationships are not an individual activity...their a team sport. And as in ANY team sport...the team can't win (succeed) without the players involved being on the same page.

Think about this....if you were to discover a new species of butterfly that had two different types of wings, would you disregard it because it wasn't perfectly symmetrical? NO! It would still be beautiful and you'd want the recognition for discovering it. Try to keep these reminders in mind as we move ahead through 2012 and remember that there's no such thing as perfection in a relationship or in a partner and that striving for perfection will have a bigger detriment on a relationship than accepting one another for who we are.

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