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Thursday, March 1, 2012

Thursday Love: Daddy's Girl...Does He Really Want to Fill Daddy's Shoes?

Jewel of wisdom du jour: "A successful relationship isn't about what you can get out of it...but about what you bring to it." - J. Earl Smith

Today's "Thursday Love" is inspired by a mid-twenties woman that I had a conversation with while getting my lunch at Subway yesterday. I saw this woman pull up to Subway in a 2012 Mustang Convertible...newly waxed, top dropped...and hair blowing in the wind. As she stepped out of the car...she was wearing gym clothes but carrying a $400 coach purse, with freshly french tipped nails (I'm a friend of The I know about those kinds of things).

Being that I'm also really really into cars (particularly mustangs) I said..."Nice car....where do you I can get a job there too." She chuckled...and said that she didn't work...and the car was a gift from her father. I said, "that's some gift!" She said..."I'm a daddy's girl...he gets me what I want." When she said that "her father gets her what she wants, the sandwich artist said, "hmm...I wish I could afford a car like that."

She didn't respond....she kind of had a bit of a stuck up attitude. She got her sandwich and left then it was just me, the sandwich artist and his female co-worker. So I asked them...what do you think is going to be the biggest rude awakening for a girl like that? He didn't respond and let his co-worker respond. She said...."nothing....she's born with a silver spoon in her mouth...she'll never live in the real world." The guy interjected and said...."that's not true...she'll have a rude awakening when she meets a guy that she thinks is going to provide for her like daddy does...she has deep feelings for him and then he can't do what daddy does." I said "BINGO!"

His female co-worker was shocked and said "I never thought about it like that....glad my daddy wasn't rich." I had to inform her that  it has nothing to do with the amount of money a family's more the attitude of that family in general. If a girl growing up isn't taught responsibility and made to do SOME things for herself...she'll go through life expecting every man to cater to her every whim. And then when a guy can't stand up to the precedent that her father set....she'll be ready to walk away. And until she realizes that not every guy can be daddy or wants to take his place...she's going to be alone for a long time.

Ladies reading this please beware...there's nothing wrong with being a daddy's girl to an extent...but keep in mind that the longer that you are, the longer it's going to take for a man to recognize the mature woman you are...because he's going to see you as a child if daddy does everything for you. Also keep in mind that while a REAL MAN wants to take care of and provide for his woman, he's also looking for a certain level of independence, virtue, and strength that can't be shown if you're 29 and still a daddy's girl! A man wants to marry someone who'll have his back and be there to pick him up if he should are you going to be able to fit that description if you've never handled your own affairs? There's nothing wrong with your father helping you out from time to time when you need the assistance (we all need help at times) but if that's the norm and you handling your own responsibilities is a rarity...that's a problem. A man doesn't want a grown spoiled brat as his woman...and unfortunately that's what some daddy's girls become.

Some will understand what I'm saying and some will not. And that's truly sad to me because that young lady that I saw drive away in that Mustang without a care in the world had no clue that she was setting herself up for failure. I mean seriously think about many men do you know in their 20's who are worth enough money that if you were with them, you wouldn't have a care in the world? (In my Katt Williams voice....I'll wait.)

Keep in mind that of the 2011 Forbes 400 Richest List, only four (that's right 4) are under the age of 30. So do you think that you're that special that you're going to land Mark Zuckerberg, Dustin Moskovitz, Scott Duncan, or Eduardo Saverin? Those guys are part of the the other 99% of men out there, aren't going to be able to provide for you the way they would be able to.

Ok, so maybe I'm going a little too far out there and comparing the average Joe's of the world to the Zuckerbergs....but in all honesty I feel warranted using that comparison because there are too many women out here who feel that they shouldn't "have to" do anything and be treated like a princess/queen. I work hard everyday, I put a roof over my wife and son's heads, clothes on their bodies, food on the table, and gas in the car...will I ever be Mark reality...probably not. My wife works...but that doesn't mean she doesn't get treated like my queen...because she does! Money isn't what provides or shows love or affection. Time and attention give more proof of love than does any amount of money.

Besides....if a man is worth that much money....protecting all of it or working to make more of it is going to be a constant concern, which means less time for you. Is that what you really want?

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