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Thursday, May 24, 2012

Thursday Love: Stay At Home Moms....Why So Few Left?

Earlier this week there was a discussion I was involved in on Twitter around the question to women..."If you had to choose between being a stay at home mom and having a career". The overwhelming response from most of the women involved in the conversation was that they "DIDN'T WANT TO be a stay at home mom...or that they ENJOYED THEIR CAREERS TOO MUCH to give it up to stay home with the kids."

Now..let's be clear...I have nothing against a woman wanting to maintain her career. Women work just as hard if not harder than men do to get to the positions they have. So wanting to hold onto said position....I completely understand. But the thing that got me the most was women so easily casting aside becoming mothers or staying home to care for their children personally who didn't really have a CAREER per se, but had a J.O.B. which stands for Just. Over. Broke.

One woman involved in the conversation said that in her opinion, stay at home moms were lazy who were just looking to have someone take care of them. It was obvious to me that this woman has no children, nieces, nephews...nothing...for her to say something like that. Having children is a full-time job! I have a 1 year old son and when my wife goes out with her girlfriends or I have to take care of him for the's A LOT of work! I don't envy stay at home moms, that's a full time job in and of itself!!!

But the question I have is why is it that women who are very much into their careers look down on women who choose to care for their children and home as if working for a Fortune 500 company is more rewarding than caring for their children.

What's the problem with a woman choosing to stay home and care for her family?

Why does she automatically get labeled as lazy because her aspirations were to raise and care for a family?

Maybe she decided to stay at home with the children because she doesn't really NEED to work. Maybe her husband/man does well enough that the family's needs are cared for with just his income. I believe a lot of this tension stems from women's desire to rewrite the wrongly adhered to gender rules that were the norm from so long ago.

PSA ladies...we know that we're not in the 1960's anymore and we know that women have the ability to run global corporations....just don't belittle another woman for pursuing what she desired, that of being a stay at home mom.

I believe that still to be the noblest, most rewarding, yet under appreciated of professions. Because NO ONE can care for or raise your children better than you can, but everyone thinks they can.

Again I reiterate that I'm not against women working....I'm just against those that choose to work...looking down on those who choose to raise a family. Besides...both can be done. I know she was a fictional character but look at Claire Huxtable from the Cosby Show. Initially she was a stay at home mom but then decided to go back to work when her children got older. That's a reality that many women are realizing today. They're staying home for the first few years of their children's lives and then once they're ready to go into school. They re-enter the workforce.

Is it so wrong to want both?

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